Why I Hate Warlocks

Ok, so hate is a strong word. I hate DKs, but that is a separate blog post. Anyway I guess I shouldn't say I hate any class that shares my love of bathrobes. Fair enough...I "seriously dislike" warlocks. Better?

And no, it's not because my main is a mage - my dislike is not spawned from some juvenile caster competition. No, it's not because they roll on the same gear that I do. It is not even because they bring those silly pets to help them DPS. My warlock rage is due to a variety of well-founded reasons.

I leveled priest!bitch via the random dungeon tool. At low levels, priests struggle with mana. Hell, all casters struggle with mana until they reach 80 and acquire ridiculous gear. So every time I would get into a random dungeon group and see a life-tapping, blood-sucking warlock, I would cringe. Apparently, warlocks think they are too good to stop and drink like the rest of the casters - why should they when they can just life tap and suck the healer's mana instead? Did that piss me off? Hell yes. After a pull, the lock would tap down to 30% and then stand in front of me expecting heals while I desperately gulped mana because the idiot tank pulled half of Scarlet Monastery. I resented this behavior - my priest is a healer, not a mana battery. No, I am not completely insensitive or uneducated. I get that locks have no way to regenerate mana the way a mage does and sometimes they need a bit of help. And I generally, even at those low levels, wouldn't mind helping out a fellow squishy that was earnestly trying to get back the health he/she had just tapped via other means. The problem is that way too many locks abuse this spell and put their healers at a serious disadvantage. So after sixty some levels of this crap (and several deliberate lock neglect deaths), one could understand why I began to seriously dislike warlocks. Ok, so that is a soft statement: I learned to seriously hate the little buggers due to the selfish tomfoolery so many of them display.

But I don't think I was ready to admit that yet. No, I think the breaking point with me and locks happened a couple of weeks ago, while running a 25man weekly ToC PUG on mage!bitch. The raid group had four warlocks - and each one of them had a stupid "SHOUTY" macro for every thing they did. One of them summoned a pet - SHOUTY TALK BUBBLE/raid spam macro. One of them soul stoned a healer - SHOUTY TALK BUBBLE/raid spam macro. One of them summoned a portal - SHOUTY TALK BUBBLE/raid spam macro. I swear, if one of those warlocks farted, he/she would have had a stupid SHOUTY TALK BUBBLE/raid spam macro for announcement purposes. I love my classes, do not mistake me, but I am not so in love with my classes that I feel the need to announce to the raid via macro every time I perform a simple function of one of my classes ("ZOMG! I IZ EVOCATING!!1!"). By the time that raid was finished, I was so annoyed with the narcissism that I wanted to cut a bitch..…er, lock. And since that raid, it has become painfully obvious to me that it was not just that handful of warlocks that do this: they all do it. I am actually surprised any of them made it to level 80 at all - seems like they spend all their time inventing new and oh-so-clever ways to annoy the rest of us via SHOUTY TALK BUBBLE/raid spam macros.

So having firmly planted myself in the lock hate camp, I have come to realize that I am supposed to hate locks because I am a mage. Um, that makes no sense, but whatever. I'll go with it because I read it on the interwebz so it must be true. Anyway, I am highly amused by all of the Lock v. Mage blogs and articles I have read - especially those written from the lock perspective. The locks say they should get raid invites over mages because they bring better raid buffs and provide utilities like soul stoning and portals. These locks love to shake their cyber-fists at the mages and ask, "what do you mages bring to the raid that locks don't?!"…

Um. It's called DPS.